As mentioned several times before – I’ve been going through some intense changes the past couple years. Turned myself inside out and began again from scratch to get it done right. I have found myself bringing the ‘junk’ up in conversations and making jokes about it here and there. But doing so only keeps it in my life. I want it out.
Today – I decided I am throwing the remaining junk into the fire. Burn it up and leave it to the wind. I feel ready to say my last good-byes to it all.
Thank you for all that you taught me. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a better person. But I’m done learning the lesson. It’s just polishing up from here on out.
As happy as I have been lately, these kind of days today are inevitable, normal, and part of the natural man (aka – human). Today, my body and mind wants nothing but these items:
Dark Chocolate
Big Fluffy Bed
My spirit wants to do these:
Work
Exercise
Today I’m just tired, worn out – looking forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better.
They’re just words… wrong. There’s a reason why we’re told time and time again to watch what we say, don’t judge, speak with Charity. Even those who you are close to – you don’t know everything about and one single phrase can cut right through them, and you may not even know/realize it.
What inspired this post was a post by Nie Nie she recently wrote, “Do you still see me?” It broke my heart because I know this feeling all too well. The words spoken to her weren’t from a loved one, but from a total stranger. What I’m referring to in how I can relate, happens to be unintentional cutting words from someone related to me. I’m sure the stranger wasn’t out to hurt Nie Nie, as I’m sure the relative wasn’t out to hurt my feelings.What happened to me, wasn’t a comment directed towards me, but towards a total stranger. My relative had an observation, it was criticism towards the stranger – and I thought in my mind, “You have no idea that I’m struggling with the same thing, and here you are judging them. “
I have a friend who feels she can’t speak to her own Mom because all the time her Mom judges other people for their faults. Just not understanding why ‘they’ would do ‘that’. Seeing the ‘dirt’ before the beauty of the flower so to speak. Instead of seeing how much they’ve grown to be someone better, she can’t believe where they came from. My friend would love to seek help and guidance from her Mom, but she’s SO afraid of her Mom judging her and not understanding because of everything she hears from her Mom all the time about other people. How sad…
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.
“For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged.” (Matt. 7:1–2.)
We all have our flaws, trials we are all working on. Weaknesses. Whether it be a physical weakness, or a mental weakness. We all have a challenge that most likely will effect us our entire lives. We all have consistent work to do. That is why it is so vital that we continue to be missionaries unto others, and doing so – it means watching our words carefully. So we can be approachable. So important to work on that, because we could have someone who we love SO MUCH, a friend or a family member – who needs help – but is so afraid to ask for it – for fear of judgment. What example are we portraying to them all? Someone who finds flaws, or someone who loves unconditionally ? Their weakness could be your strength, you could be the key to their happiness … are you portraying love or judgment?
The best advice I can think of, is to stop yourself as you go to tell an “interesting” story, or an “interesting” observation about someone else, and think in your mind, “Is what I am about to say, something that Jesus would say in the same way?” Whether you be around friends, family or a complete stranger (who could, later down the road – become a friend) – all eyes are on us ALL the time, young & old.
I’m guilty of gossip, and I know this is something I can refine in my speech as well. Let’s all press forward with an effort to speak with more love and compassion, and most importantly with effort and zeal to be a friend /or a family member who radiates an unconditional love – just as Jesus would.
Old Guy: Hi want to.… awkward pause, with head tilted like he wasn’t so sure about something... sign a petition to legalize Marijuana & Stop Car Insurance Surcharge Fee’s?
Me: Uhhh… not so much the Marijuana one, but what is the Car Insurance one about?
Old Guy: You’re of legal age, right?
Me:[a little set back, what the?] … Uh, yeah.
Old Guy: The Petition about Car Insurance is to stop Surcharges when you switch from one Insurance agency to another – currently they charge you a huge surcharge for switching. This Petition is to help stop that from happening. You are old enough to vote – right?
Me: Yes!
Old Guy: Ok, here you go. Sign legible here… You are 18?
Me: I’m 25
Old Guy: No you’re not.
Me: Yes, I am.
Old Guy: Right, 25 going on BARELY 18. You’re not fooling anyone hun.
Me: *sigh*… do I have to put my address here?
Old Guy: Yes, you registered to vote?
Me: Yeah, but not here in California. Oh well, looks like I can’t sign. Sorry, see ya!
Old Guy: Ok, bye.
This marks the 10th time someone has either told me I don’t even look a day older than 18, or that Clark looks like my Dad.
Can’t wait for the day I actually look my age, or closer to Clark’s age.
Welcome to my Blog! Or I should say... welcome to my Journal. This is the place where I come to record my history. The history of my family, the lessons I learn, and reviews of people, places and things I enjoy, or don't enjoy and want to share with others. I welcome comments, so don't be shy - I only ask that you are respectful if you have an opposing thought. Thanks! :) ♥ Read More...
“Your story should be written now while it is fresh and while the true details are available. Your private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you. Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity. Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant. Your journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them.” (”President Kimball Speaks Out on Personal Journals,” New Era, Dec. 1980, 26)
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