Rebecca's Blog

Back in 2009 I purchased a Dell XPS M1330, with it came a ‘basic’ version of McAfee Antivirus. There wasn’t anything indicating it wouldn’t do its job in catching viruses. I didn’t see any reason to install anything else.

I didn’t really like the interface, it was hard to know if everything was set properly. But I could find where to scan, where to update easy enough.

Overtime I found something odd about my computer. Slowing down when it should be swift. I just considered it Vista’s issue, since Vista has been known to not perform that smooth. I did all methods of de-junking the computer (defrag, delete files, scan for viruses), and where that all made a difference as it usually does, there was still something strange going on. Trusting McAfee virus scan report I just carried on. Figuring it was just my computer getting older and filling up with files.

It wasn’t until 1 year later that my ‘Free McAfee’ expired and I installed Kaspersky Anti-virus 2010 that I found 7 viruses and 2 Riskware on my computer! McAfee, never told me about this! Never told me about anything. Even free versions should at least tell you that something is wrong! And yes, it was turned on and everything appeared to be working properly.

I’ve been using a computer since I was 2. I don’t consider myself an expert, because I’m always learning, but I am computer savvy. I’ve used Norton before, AVG and Kaspersky. This is the first Anti-virus that even the ‘free’ version didn’t do anything worth value.

My 2 cents if you have just purchased a Dell or are considering an Anti-virus, look past McAfee and consider Kaspersky. I mean, just the interface alone looks comforting :

Download Free Trial of Kaspersky Anti-virus

If you found this review helpful feel free to donate to my new laptop fund!

McAfee Review

Kaspersky Review

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“Not meant to be this time.” That’s what I told Clark, broken to pieces, I haven’t felt this heartache before… As predicted, I knew I’d be sad. It’s my Achilles heel: working myself up – letting my imagination of baby clothes, baby giggles, growing this perfect little baby inside me who I am so biased that he/she is the most beautiful of them all. The smartest and most kind hearted child, who is a spiritual giant among the rest.

“Maybe this is just meant to teach you to be OK with it just being the two of us?” Clark said, trying to help me see the positive. Through learning about manifesting whatever you want in life –  we’ve been taught to not want something too much or you actually attract the opposite result. But to be OK with either end result and you’re more likely to attract whatever you desire in life.

I’ve been OK for awhile with the possibility of adopting if we can never conceive, or just waiting until we get to the millennium where we have children then. I can do it if I decide to… but I just let my emotions get away with me sometimes. I’ll confess, I cried hard when I took the pregnancy test that Clark told me I probably should wait a little longer… a little longer than 3 days past my expected period due date. I threw the negative result into the trash and slept my sadness away. Then, later today it was confirmed that no baby this time.

I hate that my period plays with my head, that I get SO tired, I lose my appetite or I get so nauseous – I am either on time for my period or I”m late. I hate those stupid “Early Pregnancy Symptoms” lists online that I can check almost all of them off. Dumb dumb DUMB!!!

I hate that I go through – what seems like labor every stink’n month, for what? NO baby.

Maybe I should count myself lucky that I have this much more time to lose weight so I can be that much healthier when I do get pregnant.

It’s just… sometimes I hate having to learn patience. My heart physically hurts when I let myself get so excited over the slightest possibility that __x__ might happen and then I feel my little mini dream gets stolen away and I”m told “Not this time, maybe next time”.

I don’t want to be told what might help, or I should try this or that. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I’ll keep trying, but I’ve learned that I can’t let myself get too excited… because it hurts too much when it doesn’t happen.

Thanks for listening.

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The idea of a baby has been consuming my mind lately. The one frustrating thing about having Endometriosis/Dysmenorrhea is that I have “pregnancy-like” symptoms when it’s ‘that time of the month’. Oligomenorrhea makes it harder to get pregnant (as well as the Endometriosis), but I’ve known so many people with the same conditions who seemingly have no trouble at all getting pregnant. So within these next 2 weeks, where either result will manifest itself is driving me all crazy. Am I? Or am I not?

The fact that Clark and I are both on board together mutually to finally feel ready to have a baby, I really want to be pregnant. So, yeah – I’ll be sad if I find that I’m not pregnant this time… but I’ll also be at peace in my mind that – it’s just not meant to be yet.

Wish me luck, I will be overwhelmingly ecstatic to find out that I am! I’ll be bummed out if not, but I’ll survive. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to. Just another challenge in faith.

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My friend posted this video on her blog. She and I share the same love and gratitude for our High School Creative Writing  Teacher Mrs. Bean. I am so thankful I had the experience and privilge of having Creative Art teachers who allowed me to have free reign on my creativity in school. I was able to sculpt whatever I wanted, paint/draw whatever I was inspired to do and write whatever my heart felt. For that, I found happiness where I could have easily remained in tears. This video illustrates beautifully why it’s so important to allow our kids and even encourage our kids to be creative and energetic. It’s how they learn and become strong and independent minded individuals. It’s how they sculpt our future, their future, and their kids future. We should not hold them back from their potential:

Elementary, Jr. High, and High School education is one of the most vital parts of human development. It’s where are minds grow, it’s where we find who we are and where we’re going in life. It walks hand in hand with development in the home. As he explained with kids easily being diagnosed as ADHD, if children are both held back in school and in home – then their future is easily hopeless. But if one, home/school – sets the child free – they are trusted, they are loved and they are allowed to feel they can do and be whomever they wish – there is hope. The education system cannot bank on the child being creative at home. They should step forward and be that creative outlet first and foremost, because in doing so- the child will desire to be more, because they crave to be.

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