Sky Angel Cowboy
29 Apr
This video has a simple, yet powerful message. If you’d like, let me know what you think. 
Tag Archives: Religion
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Called to the Young Womens
6 Apr
You are looking at the new Beehives Leader!
I am so excited to be a part of this wonderful Youth Group. A bit overwhelmed because this is the BIGGEST calling I have ever received. But I feel ready. 
Women As Examples – General Conference Saturday
3 Apr
I believe that if you find that General Conference is speaking directly at you – you’re on the right track on life, because you have prepared yourself well to – listen.
Remember my recent post “A Lesson on Looking Good?” I was thinking during the first session today – particularly after he hit a valid point that I hadn’t thought of “… women who wear flip flops to Church… and my heart sunk and face flushed, “How did I let myself slip so far to where I’ve lost so much time not being up to par of the woman I should be?” Then I reminded myself I can’t be hard on myself, I have to learn the lesson in the act and move forward being that woman I want to be.
I am going to take notes for myself, notes on what led me to “letting myself go” so I can recognize these signs and stop the actions before they take control. Here are my thoughts on the reasons why I feel I let it happen:
- I had never moved out of the house before I got married. When I did, I moved over 1,000 miles away to a completely foreign place with no family close by. I was left to create my own life – not knowing how, and not really been prepared. A newlywed, adjusting to a new life. Anxiety set in, and reality of who I was and who I had become. It’s not that I was a bad person, but it’s like all the junk that had been stored in my brain – decided to rise to the surface. Which wasn’t fun, nor easy – but a GOOD thing I got help from a counselor and realized now because it has allowed myself to clean it out for good.
- Going through those MAJOR changes I believe is where I ‘let myself go’. Part of the junk that I was cleaning out – included superficial beliefs. Growing up, I developed the belief that for a man to value you – you had to look good. Instead of learning from the ground up, that a woman of virtue and integrity – will always look her best, because you’re an example of a daughter of God. Men are attracted to women who shine with the spirit, confidence & beauty. See how both are telling that it’s important to look good, but how I took the wrong road to the end result? So, how I let myself go from this belief of looking good was having to relearn the lesson. In doing so, I wrongly developed a hate for makeup and “superficial” items. All the while, from stress and comfort eating I gained weight – so I didn’t feel pretty all around. Thankfully I was attracted to skirts because they felt far more comfortable then jeans I felt huge in. So I was at least that much dressed up. I also wanted to make sure that Clark loved me no matter how I looked – which of course he did! Throughout this whole process, Clark never stopped telling me I was beautiful, that I was sexy and attractive no matter what. I think I felt that because I let myself gain weight, that I didn’t deserve new clothes, or I would look funny in trendy clothes because I was bigger. Putting on make-up, I didn’t look the same. These were all false and distorted beliefs. Through counseling, I had to learn to love myself – and see myself beautiful no matter what – Clark didn’t need to learn that. Because if I feel beautiful – people view me how I feel about myself. So, it starts with me.
- Feeling poor – less motivation to buy new clothes. A belief I learned growing up, that if you can’t afford it, you can’t buy it. Makes sense right? Well, priorities shift when having that belief towards clothes, because when you have money – things like food, items for the house, things you have saved up for, take higher priority. When you have clothes that fit and aren’t torn – why buy new clothes? I still have clothes from early High School! This is what I learned instead of, making sure that things that make you feel good about yourself – should take a higher priority, because then you attract the good in life and radiate an appearance of someone who values themselves to everyone around you. In return, people will give you credit and value your standards instead of assuming you’re someone that you’re not.
- Taking things too personal and developing resentment inside when they were only trying to help. I know I have family members who have tried to teach me this lesson far earlier than when I finally heard the lesson from a ‘stranger’ / friend. I guess my natural instinct/learned behavior is to protect myself from nagging, criticism, controlling etc because I was trying to get away from learning the wrong way because I was desperately trying to learn how to do and be the right way. When I heard “It’s important to dress yourself up and get ready first thing in the morning”, I instead heard “You’re doing something wrong, I see you’re not wearing as much make-up, wearing old clothes – you should be something better”. Of course I felt guilty, but I was feeling upset. I wasn’t ready to hear it.
I am so thankful for all that I’ve learned while re-learning how to be and look like a daughter of God. I am so happy that I have learned that if you ever feel like someone is judging or criticizing you, take a step back – take a deep breath and listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Can you be better? More likely than not if you’re feeling upset – you’re feeling guilty or sad about something. There is NOTHING wrong with fine-tuning yourself. Just make sure you keep God with you in the act of changing, or you’ll easily skew the advice and look less than your value (i.e. modest vs. immodest).
In between sessions, Clark and I went to Target. I got some more make-up and hair stuff. We’re going to JCPenny next week and get some new clothes. I’m not trying to prove myself to anyone but me and God that I value myself and the body He gave me.
I am so happy I have learned this lesson of how to be a beautiful woman of virtue and integrity. I am so happy I have opened myself up with love to hear ways that I can improve – because we always have room to improve. Each and every one of us. We don’t have to take everyone’s advice, because not everyone will be right. But if you listen by the spirit – He will teach you the truth in all things.
I am going to write more about what I learned today later this week when I can have text reference from the other talks…
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