Tag Archives: Inspiration

Donny Osmond had Panic Attacks too

28 Apr

I have been a BIG fan of Donny Osmond since I was 13 years old. Kids in my generation didn’t understand why, but I thought (and still think) he’s quite handsome and has an AMAZING voice! He’s such a good person too. I really admire him for always being a positive example of his faith – even while being in the spot-light in the entertainment business. It’s really hard to keep to your moral standards while dealing with the pressure the media gives you. This interview [below] was very interesting to watch. If you’re like me, you gain even more respect for Donny learning what he went through.


After I learned that he too endured Anxiety, Depression and Panic Attacks – I felt comforted knowing that I’m not alone. Even this guy – who is SO well known around the world, goes through similar weaknesses/struggles that I do! To hear that he got help the same way I did (seeing a therapist/counselor) is all inspiring. I’m just so happy that there are Stars like him out in the world who are good strong moral examples, and who can also take off their ‘Star‘ hat and show even further that they are normal human beings who go through the same stuff we all go through and give hope that you can make it. :)

It’s not any new news, and of course ‘mega stars’ are normal human beings. It’s just comforting to hear/see it. :D


Listen to Donny Osmond Music

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Women As Examples – General Conference Saturday

3 Apr

I believe that if you find that General Conference is speaking directly at you – you’re on the right track on life, because you have prepared yourself well to – listen.

Remember my recent post “A Lesson on Looking Good?” I was thinking during the first session today – particularly after he hit a valid point that I hadn’t thought of “… women who wear flip flops to Church… and my heart sunk and face flushed, “How did I let myself slip so far to where I’ve lost so much time not being up to par of the woman I should be?” Then I reminded myself I can’t be hard on myself, I have to learn the lesson in the act and move forward being that woman I want to be.

I am going to take notes for myself, notes on what led me to “letting myself go” so I can recognize these signs and stop the actions before they take control. Here are my thoughts on the reasons why I feel I let it happen:

  • I had never moved out of the house before I got married. When I did, I moved over 1,000 miles away to a completely foreign place with no family close by. I was left to create my own life – not knowing how, and not really been prepared. A newlywed, adjusting to a new life. Anxiety set in, and reality of who I was and who I had become. It’s not that I was a bad person, but it’s like all the junk that had been stored in my brain – decided to rise to the surface. Which wasn’t fun, nor easy – but a GOOD thing I got help from a counselor and realized now because it has allowed myself to clean it out for good.
  • Going through those MAJOR changes I believe is where I ‘let myself go’. Part of the junk that I was cleaning out – included superficial beliefs. Growing up, I developed  the belief that for a man to value you – you had to look good. Instead of learning from the ground up, that a woman of virtue and integrity – will always look her best, because you’re an example of a daughter of God. Men are attracted to women who shine with the spirit, confidence & beauty. See how both are telling that it’s important to look good, but how I took the wrong road to the end result? So, how I let myself go from this belief of looking good was having to relearn the lesson. In doing so, I wrongly developed a hate for makeup and “superficial” items. All the while, from stress and comfort eating I gained weight – so I didn’t feel pretty all around. Thankfully I was attracted to skirts because they felt far more comfortable then jeans I felt huge in. So I was at least that much dressed up. I also wanted to make sure that Clark loved me no matter how I looked – which of course he did! Throughout this whole process, Clark never stopped telling me I was beautiful, that I was sexy and attractive no matter what. I think I felt that because I let myself gain weight, that I didn’t deserve new clothes, or I would look funny in trendy clothes because I was bigger. Putting on make-up, I didn’t look the same. These were all false and distorted beliefs. Through counseling, I had to learn to love myself – and see myself beautiful no matter what – Clark didn’t need to learn that. Because if I feel beautiful – people view me how I feel about myself. So, it starts with me. :)
  • Feeling poor – less motivation to buy new clothes. A belief I learned growing up, that if you can’t afford it, you can’t buy it. Makes sense right? Well, priorities shift when having that belief towards clothes, because when you have money – things like food, items for the house, things you have saved up for,  take higher priority. When you have clothes that fit and aren’t torn – why buy new clothes? I still have clothes from early High School!  This is what I learned instead of, making sure that things that make you feel good about yourself – should take a higher priority, because then you attract the good in life and radiate an appearance of someone who values themselves to everyone around you. In return, people will give you credit and value your standards instead of assuming you’re someone that you’re not.
  • Taking things too personal and developing resentment inside when they were only trying to help. I know I have family members who have tried to teach me this lesson far earlier than when I finally heard the lesson from a ‘stranger’ / friend. I guess my natural instinct/learned behavior is to protect myself from nagging, criticism, controlling etc because I was trying to get away from learning the wrong way because I was desperately trying to learn how to do and be the right way. When I heard “It’s important to dress yourself up and get ready first thing in the morning”, I instead heard “You’re doing something wrong, I see you’re not wearing as much make-up, wearing old clothes – you should be something better”. Of course I felt guilty, but I was feeling upset. I wasn’t ready to hear it.

I am so thankful for all that I’ve learned while re-learning how to be and look like a daughter of God. I am so happy that I have learned that if you ever feel like someone is judging or criticizing you, take a step back – take a deep breath and listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Can you be better? More likely than not if you’re feeling upset – you’re feeling guilty or sad about something. There is NOTHING wrong with fine-tuning yourself. Just make sure you keep God with you in the act of changing, or you’ll easily skew the advice and look less than your value (i.e. modest vs. immodest).

In between sessions, Clark and I went to Target. I got some more make-up and hair stuff. We’re going to JCPenny next week and get some new clothes. I’m not trying to prove myself to anyone but me and God that I value myself and the body He gave me. :)

I am so happy I have learned this lesson of how to be a beautiful woman of virtue and integrity. I am so happy I have opened myself up with love to hear ways that I can improve – because we always have room to improve. Each and every one of us. We don’t have to take everyone’s advice, because not everyone will be right. But if you listen by the spirit – He will teach you the truth in all things. :D

I am going to write more about what I learned today later this week when I can have text reference from the other talks…

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A Lesson on Look’n Good

26 Mar

Friend: Is that your picture on the wall? [referring to my bridal picture]

Me: Yes!


Friend: Wow… ummm… you look… wow, how do I say…

Me: Sexy? [*giggles*]

Friend: Well, yeah… you look so… MODERN! You look so good, so modern…

Me: Well, thank you!

Friend: Yeah, you really let yourself go didn’t you?

Me: :( Huh… I guess so… 8-O


There is a certain respect you have to give to your really blunt friends who just say it how it is. I mean, I don’t want to hear EVERYTHING, but THAT I needed to hear. The old me wanted to crawl into a corner and just feel incredibly embarrassed and sad because I knew she was telling the truth. I haven’ t always been wearing make-up. I do, sometimes get so wrapped up in work in the morning I completely forget to get ready for the day or don’t get ready until afternoon.

The past couple years I have been going through some pretty intense changes in my life. I relate it to a drawing that is in development – that gets messed up. You can’t always just erase and adjust where necessary without still showing flaws. Sometimes you have to give a complete re haul and start again from the beginning so you can do it perfect. That’s what I’ve done to myself – completely went raw, tore out all the yucky stuff from the inside out and began again from scratch.

I used to be SO SO SO into make-up. SO much I was studying all I could about how to be a make-up artist. Studied Make-Up artists at the mall and on movie sets. I think somewhere along the line the past couple years where I have been changing myself for the better, I lost the interest in make-up. It’s no longer important to me, other than having fun dressing up and put on to feel good. That’s it. I have my natural hair color, I used to color my hair blond. But it’s 3 times the price to get my hair done here as it is in UT where I used to live. So I let my hair go natural and I actually like it better – only because I feel I have attached it as a representation of my new self. I fear feeling like my old self if I go back to blond. I just don’t think being blond really shows how I feel.  Who knows, I may change my mind later when I feel even stronger.

What I learned after I really pondered about my friends comment is that: Looking good is just as important as doing and being good. Looking your best is a representation to those around you of how you feel inside about yourself.

So, if I’m feeling good inside, I should show it! Clean myself up and look my best!

The moral of the story is, I could have taken offense, been insulted or thought she was being rude. She wasn’t. She was giving good advise.

So, Thank you friend for the bold and blunt reminder – that it’s important to not only look my best for others, and for my husband – but also for myself!

I now have added another goal to my list of daily self reminders. Dress up every morning even if I’m staying in for the day- and show a representation of how I’m feeling for the day or how I want to feel for the day. :D

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Ch. 5 You Know What Helps Life Be Full of Joy?

25 Mar

Complete Love (Charity) and Understanding.

Exemplifying the love of Christ – removing all judgment and allowing people to be who they are, no matter how strange it may be to you or completely foreign to your knowledge or experience. There’s a lot of what we may call “Odd” or “Strange people” we know or have met. It never ceases to amaze me the collection of people sent down to earth. Learning how they’ve been groomed to be who they are. People might find me strange, but that’s only because they don’t really know me. If they did – they’d love me. ;) haha!

My thoughts reference from the movie Clark and I just watched the other night called ‘A Beautiful Mind‘. Wow is this movie incredible! There are so many ways I feel I can relate. Past weaknesses of Anxiety being the “people” that he always saw- to me. Having now learned how to control those tendencies of Anxiety, I always feel them available to give in to – but they don’t bother me anymore. I’m in control now. :D

Wow. A powerful movie, and a must see!

I often feel like I have experienced more than the norm for my age. But I also realize that “a lot” can have many meanings for every 25 year old. I don’t know what it’s like to have a husband who you don’t like – and I don’t care to experience that. I don’t know what it’s like to have a child, or to move to another country, etc etc. I realize there’s A LOT that I haven’t experienced. Most I don’t want to. I am happy with my life how it is right now.

But this is another part of what I mean about what helps life to be full of joy – is accepting others for who they are, and accepting yourself for all that you’ve accomplished. For loving your flaws, and finding the good in all you’ve done in life and for all you have left to do. You’re living and breathing right now – which means you still have more to do in life. God hasn’t given up on you and neither should YOU.

If one thing I’ve found in life that excites me about the BAD I’ve experienced, is that with each lesson I learn from those experiences – is a lesson I am able to teach another who is bearing that burden. I now have a gift I can give to another and see the excitement in their eyes when they learn the lesson too. The cycle of love continues on and that my friends is the JOY in life!

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