I received an email from a friend I’ve never met, located in the UK. I was so touched by this email. How brave she was to ask for help and advice on how I was able to overcome this beast of a trial in my life. From here on out, I’ll refer to her as “Kathy” (not her real name). I was initially going to reply to her via email, but since there are so many people I come to find out that read my blog – but I hardly hear from (which is totally OK, I read over 200 blogs and I maybe reply to 5 of them ever – so I understand), that I decided that there may be several of you out there who have the same question. So I thought I would reply here, just in case.
Kathy’s email:
Hi Rebecca -
I’ve been reading your blog on and off since you started the 30min walking challenge. I notice that you have mentioned your struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. I’m going through a kind of crisis with mine right now – they’re getting bad and I’m running out of coping techniques. It seems from some of your recent entries that you’ve been able to conquer this problem. I was wondering if you’d share with me how.
Thanks so much,
“Kathy”
My Reply:
Kathy,
Thank you SO much for your courage in asking for help. You’re on the right path to healing already by doing so. This is a challenge in life that is not to be dealt with alone or IT WILL swallow you whole.
Taking you in the order of where I first began on my journey to where I am now – it began with a strong desire to rid myself of emotional negativity. I first experimented with Nutrition. My anxiety grew right along with my Endometriosis (Dysmenorrhea) rising to the surface. I thought they might have been interrelated, but found that my Anxiety was a big cause of stress on my Uterus during ‘that time of the month’. Changing my diet to more of a Vegetarian diet helped my Endometriosis – but my Anxiety was still present.
While working on my diet, I noticed my Depression getting worse, which made my Anxiety worse. I kept asking myself “What in the world is going on here? This is so not like the ME I know… or I thought I knew.”
While visiting UT 2 years ago, my Mom had made an appointment with a nurse, a Dietitian and Craniosacral Therapist. All helped immensely get me kick-started in the right direction. Especially the Craniosacral Therapist who helped me let go of a past friend of mine that I was emotionally holding on to. These were my first Angels I met on my healing journey.
At this point I was still drowning in Anxiety, but I was making baby steps of progress. At least at this point, I was seeking for help, meeting with professionals and eating healthier (i.e. Organic Foods, as little processed as possible, better portions). Before, through the depression of feeling like I was losing my mind because of the Anxiety- I gained a lot of weight. My Anxiety was a fear of being far away from where I felt safe. It was a weird fear (like most Anxiety driven fears are) of not being able to find a bathroom quick enough and humiliating myself in front of people I know and don’t know. Feeling like a freak – kept me indoors quite a bit. What made my fear seem so real – was that every time I felt “i needed to go” I did go. So that told my mind that I don’t have a ‘fear’ – it’s reality. Little did I know, the stress to my body was actually what was driving me to go so much (i.e. giving me bladder infections, diarrhea, constipation, an overall unhealthy digestive condition, etc).
I did some research on Anxiety online, always studying ways to make the process of healing quicker. I came across a forum of women who were giving each other suggestions and once I saw that there were women who had been battling Anxiety for over 30 years I freaked out! I hit my ultimate low of depression, emotional eating, it was a big low point for me. Soon thereafter I sought out professional counseling and that is where I found the Angel in my life who would help me discover ‘the cure’ and find happiness and joy and love in life again – like I have never experienced before.
She first taught me that most everything is rooted emotionally. We needed to find the roots of where this all comes from before we can truly be set free and move forward in life – to a better life. Most roots are completely unrelated to the Anxiety/fear we suffer from. Our Anxiety is just our body’s or Spirits way of calling attention to ourselves that something is wrong – and you need to fix it ASAP! To help guide me through self discovery, she recommended I read a book called “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay and use the workbook to help write out my feelings as I learn from the book. An AMAZING read for ANYONE to help heal their life OR refine it. It took me step by step through my entire life to this point – helping me discover my life wounds and scars, where I learned particular behaviors and to help teach me that where I was hurt emotionally or where I learned negative behaviors – there is no one to blame. We all learn behaviors from those who raised us – but so did they, and it goes on and on until one decides to stop any negative behaviors and become a better person. While working through this workbook – I was blessed that my Mom and Dad were willing to join me on this journey of healing and work through this workbook with me. I was able to speak to others in my life as well, which wasn’t easy – but it helped me heal. 
I also learned that these feelings I was going through were more a blessing than I gave them credit for. I discovered that through this HARD challenge of Anxiety I was learning the true meaning of Faith. Through emotions of depression – I have a tool and a gift for writing and artwork. Without those emotions – my writing and artwork are one dimensional, with them – they are 3 dimensional.
The most powerful lesson throughout my time with this Angel in my life and help from God – was the true meaning of beauty. To LOVE me. It didn’t come quick – but I have found that the more I loved me and not feared what others thought – the less Anxiety I had. I also needed to bring God more into my life than I have ever before. I needed Him. This is where Faith played an important part in my life because I needed to trust Him. God knows us, every hair of our head – He knows our thoughts – He knows us better than we know ourselves. In my faith, we believe in Priesthood power – and boy do I have such a strong testimony of this power of Priesthood Blessings. It was my portal to heaven to receive blessings of healing – more powerful than I have ever seen man perform on earth. The blessings helped me build a road map to my ultimate time of healing.
God has a plan for us, and I wasn’t all at once healed by one blessing alone, but I was guided on a path to help me decide for myself when I wanted to receive and accept the healing that washed away my Anxiety. I had to make adjustments in my life to help surround me with support of family and friends, to help surround myself with peace and love and happiness. To accept in my mind what was real and not real, what was right and not right. All emotional based and choosing to stand in environments that keep me strong to help me continually progress in being an emotionally, physically and spiritually strong individual.
Kathy, I am still healing. I think I will always be on this path of healing to become stronger and stronger each day, because there is always room to improve and better ourselves.
Here is my recipe for what helped me get rid of the Anxiety fears:
* Desire. Without a strong desire to heal, you accept the fears as part of your life. You have to have a strong desire and motivation to take action and control of where your life is headed in order to find a healing solution for you. I don’t believe that everyones roots of their fears are healed the same way, because we’re all unique. Similar tools can help us – but there is no ‘one thing fixes all’. Medication only hides the fear, it’s up to us to be willing to dig up the dirt and clean out what is causing us to not be healthy in our mind and body. Are you willing to dig deep into your past? Even if it hurts? Are you willing to do what it takes to heal completely?
* Seek help from professionals. Always a good idea to get some good diet tips, but what helped me the very most was seeking help from a professional counselor that you feel comfortable and safe with. I don’t know if you are LDS Kathy, but I would highly recommend finding a counselor that shares your same faith/ spiritual beliefs.
* Eat Clean Foods. It’s important to keep our systems as clean as possible. I have found myself to be an emotional eater, so this is something I am still perfecting myself as I crave the more processed foods when I am feeling down. I find that I feel better about myself, my body feels better – the more Organic and Natural clean foods that I put inside me. It also helps me think clearer 
* Exercise. The last thing I feel like doing when I’m down, but one of the first things that I find that help me feel better about life and about myself after I actually do it. 
* LOVE yourself! The key to ridding yourself of negativity and Anxiety driven fears in your life. Faith and love together is more powerful than any anti-anxiety drug you could have.
* Stand on taller ground. Place yourself in situations, environments, and around people who help you feel better about yourself. Who support you and you feel understand you. This is vital to growing stronger and more confident. This won’t always be easy or possible at times to avoid, but you have choices. You can leave, you can take a ‘vacation’ and not leave for good, but until you feel stronger. I have discovered that certain people or places are triggers for me being vulnerable to my past Anxiety fears / feelings and even depression. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel stable and strong.
Keep in mind if you are worried about informing someone that you need some time away to help yourself become stronger:
President Harold B. Lee said, “You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is” (Stand Ye in Holy Places [1974], 187
Of course you love them, this is why you are on this journey of healing – so you can be strong enough to help them when needed. But until you feel strong enough – you have to do what you need to do in order to help them in the end.
It’s like an alcoholic trying to not relapse. He has buddies in the bar he wants to help too – but every time he goes back into the bar, he’s tempted. He has to go to rehab, he has to leave until he’s 100% recovered. Then he can go back to the bar and help remove his buddies from the bar and show them a better life. He might not ever be able to help all of his buddies, but he’s taken the higher road to a better life and will in the very least be a positive and uplifting example to his friends whenever they are willing and open to accepting the opportunity for a better life. Make sense?
* Hold on to Faith . Trust God, He LOVES you and wants you to be happy. I firmly believe that everything that happens to us in life – happens for a reason. There is a lesson in everything we experience in life. What isn’t fun – can be good for us. It’s like the refiners fire – it’ll get worse before it gets better – but in the end we’re smooth and polished and a better person because we never gave up. You’ll need to trust God. At first it may seem like answers aren’t coming fast enough, but that’s where faith comes into play. Trust God, have faith that an answer will come – because it will. I promise you this, I have experienced this. You will find joy and happiness and relief from your Anxiety and depression through God.
If you are LDS, I would recommend seeking help from your Husband through a Priesthood Blessing, or from a Bishop, your Home Teachers or even the Missionaries. If you are not LDS/Mormon, and you’re interested in a Priesthood blessing, there are Missionaries in your area who I know would love to help. You may request their visit from this site: here.
* Natural Remedies. My counselor/(a.k.a “My Angel”) suggested that I take an alternative to an anti-depressant. We discovered that my brain had been so depleted of natural GABA and 5HTP through consistent stress from particular environments and situations that instead of getting on anti-depressants, that I take a natural route and take a daily dose of GABA and 5HTP. It’s safer and all natural. I found that before I enter an environment or situation that would normally ignite my Anxiety, that this helped give me a kick start to controlling my thoughts (as it helps clear out my thoughts) and calm my body. It’s not a cure all, but it helps. PLEASE seek advice from your Therapist or Dr. before taking these supplements, because your situation might very well be different.
* Challenge Yourself. Set goals to challenge yourself in situations that normally you felt high anxiety about. For me, it was driving long distances in unfamiliar environments where I didn’t know where a bathroom was if I needed it. As I worked on my emotional well being through counseling, I found these challenges to be more and more easy to do. Soon I began to notice I had gone about 20 min before even the least bit fleeting thought of worry or concern, to now I don’t even think about any worry at all anymore and just enjoy my time out.
* Happy Activities. We all have gifts and talents – utilize them for good! Doing service is a wonderful way to help yourself feel good inside. It might be that you’re a talented scrap-booker or you enjoy doing crafts, writing or you love animals. Whatever it might be, that you enjoy doing as a hobby – also use it to brighten someones day or to contribute to a local charity. Give your crafts away for free as a gift for someone or an organization. I love doing this, it’s one of the many things that helps me feel good. Whenever I am having a really down day and I’m not motivated to sketch or to write, I sit down and let my mind go blank and do some breathing exercises. Then I tell myself, “I realize I’m not interested – but I’m going to just do this for a few minutes anyway.” and once I do – my day slowly gets better and better.
* Go for walks. I always tell my self ” I always forget how much I LOVE it out here!” and I usually am reluctant to go back home. Going out and getting sunshine always helps.
* A Clean home is a Happy Home. I find that when my home is clean, I just feel better. Opening up your living space to allow sunshine to pour in, room to stretch out and breathe – your body is literally less stressed. I usually go on a cleaning spree to help myself distress.
Here are some interesting reads on the necessity to help your home be a heavenly place:
I hope this helps. Recovery ‘how to’ or ‘how I did’ is never a simple answer. This might have been WAY more than you expected, but as long as it is – I hope there are at least some parts that help.
Know that I’m here anytime you need to vent or just to chat or ask a question. I’m happy to help and be a friend. ♥
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