Mondayz
23 Feb
As Monday rolls into place, it’s definately hard to get motivated when you’ve had a sleepy weekend.
If anyone to know what sleepy is like, it’s Hero and Tiny. Good to know they’re ready at command:
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Be Bright
22 Feb
Ode to Light – 1
Flames burning the skin of the earth
taking away its shield
rain evaporating from the pores
cold
shaking in innocence
I am the moon
let my light reflect upon the stars
guiding the sun back upon the earth
let its rays guide and nurture
let the rain nourish its roots
to make strong, what was once weak
to make the lost loved
Spring is but a moment of flowers in bloom
summer comes slowly
to light up the earth with vibrant light
before the earth falls
then hides in the chill of peaceful silence
What once hides in fear
with knowledge of light
will come back in season with faith
What has heavy eyes and tired roots
the sun can melt away and guide it back to life
I am an imperfect moon
I shine in the midst of darkness
only able to reflect my light upon the stars
I shed what light I have upon those
who stand upon the earth with weak faith
To show that even I can be bright
when the sun does not shine.
-Rebecca Cooper
How Do I Love Thee?
22 Feb
29 For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of acontention is not of me, but is of the bdevil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. — 3Nephi 11:29
“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”
L. Douglas Wilder – Deseret News, 1 Dec. 1991, p. A2.
“It’s not so much what happens to us but how we deal with what happens to us.”
James E. Faust – Oct. Gen. Conf 2004
“As we focus our energies on lifting the burdens of others, something miraculous happens. Our own burdens diminish. We become happier. There is more substance to our lives.”
David S. Baxter – Oct. Gen. Conf 2006
“The companionship of Christlike friends deeply touches and changes our lives. We should well remember that the Lord often sends ‘blessings from above, thru words and deeds of those who love’…Love is the very essence of the gospel of Christ. In this church, prayers for help are often answered by the Lord through the simple, daily service of caring brothers and sisters. In the goodness of genuine friends, I have seen the reflected mercy of the Lord Himself. I have always been humbled by the knowledge that the Savior regards us as His friends when we choose to follow Him and Keep His commandments.”
Joseph B. Wirthlin – General Conference. Oct. 1997
“True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of ones companion.”
Gordon B. Hinckley – Quote Book
“We look forward to the time when the power of love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.”
William Gladstone – Ensign Mar., 2004
“There seems to be something inside each of us that resists being told or pushed or pulled. But if someone puts an arm around a young man and walks alongside him, he is likely to follow along…”
M. Russell Ballard – 2005, Apr. Gen. Conf.
“”We can only win over the opponent by love, never hate. Hate is the subtlest form of violence. Hatred injures the hater, never the hated.”"
Gandhi – mkgandhi.org
“Hate the sin, love the sinner. “
Gandhi – www.mkgandhi.org
“A successful marriage isn’t finding the right person – it’s being the right person.”
unknown – unknown
Don't Strangle Him – Love Him
21 Feb
First, let me begin by sharing chunks of snippets from this AMAZING book I’ve been reading. This is a relatively short book — but it’s been taking me SO LONG to read it because I keep taking notes! Just see what I mean:
The topic — improving ourselves as wives — goes directly to one of the most important issues of our day. Listen to President Gordon B. Hinckley’s comments. When a report asked him about his greatest concerns, President Hinckley replied, “I am concerned about family life in the Church. We have wonderful people, but we have too many whose families are falling apart. It is a matter of serious concern. I think it is my most serious concern.”
Anything we can do to improve ourselves as wives and to improve our marriages is vitally important. Now think about being a wife. A wife is not her husband’s mother (although some act that way); she’s not his daughter; she’s not always even his best friend. She’s his wife. What does that mean?
At Sunday School a teacher explained how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”
That may be how some husbands view us — as a pain in the side. But hopefully we (and they) have a better view of who we are.
Can you just envision being out to lunch with your female friends and having this conversation: “So, how are you doing as a wife?” “Oh, well, I’m doing a great job on the supporting aspect but I’m lousy at that whole communications thing.” Right. Like that would ever happen. Most of our interactions with other women center around homemaking, children, work, and other safe topics. Any discussion about our marriages tends to focus on the collective husband-bashing that has practically become the sport of choice for groups of women across the nation.
Part of this stems from the difficulty many women have in admitting imperfection. Some women would rather have their tongue cut out than admit that they need help learning how to be a better wife or that they are making mistakes. Such an admission would damage the facade that many of us spend so much time carefully constructing. I believe that this does more damage than good. We go around feeling depressed because all we see is the plastic image others hold up for the world. And we know that we fall far short of their image and our pretend image as well. No wonder we’re depressed!
Yet it should surprise no one to learn that their friends are having a hard time getting their husbands to talk to them or help around the house. They’re frustrated with themselves, and they’re frustrated with the struggle of handling a marriage, just like you. We just need to be more open in admitting that struggle and asking for help.
But asking for help with being a wife is tricky business. We may want to ask for input, but we also want to protect the privacy and sanctity of our marriages. That makes for a challenging situation.
***
“If you were dead and your husband was looking for another wife, would he pick you?”
Would he? But now think about the person you’ve become — the things you’ve learned, the strength you’ve gained — and look at that question again. Would he? If there are things we need to fix, then let’s get on it! If there are areas where we would like to improve, then let’s be open enough to learn about them and then try to take some steps to make those changes.
***
Before we begin, we must take the Dump the Guilt Pledge:
“I, the fabulous, wonderful, charming, and brilliant person that I am [feel free to embellish at will], do hereby pledge that I will not focus on any mistakes that I have made in the past. I pledge that I will not go around feeling all mopey and depressed and think, ‘Gee, why didn’t I do this sooner?’ or any other stupid notions. I pledge that I will face forward and just try to focus on improving from this day forward and that I will dump any and all guilt I’ve been dragging around in the past.”
There, now, don’t you feel better? Now we can begin.
We discover happiness when we stop trying to copy another person. Happiness beckons when we start living life that is strengthened by our Faith in Jesus Christ. Love begins in our thoughts as we consciously decide to see the good in others.
Changing our perspective not only helps others, but changes our heart and lifts our spirit. They become easier to love not because they changed but because we changed.
“You need not be teasing your husbands because of their deeds, but let… your innocence, kindness, and affection be felt… not war, not jangle, not contradiction, or dispute, but meekness, love, purity—these are the things that should magnify you in the eyes of all good men.” — Joseph Smith
We all could use some help, couldn’t we? Here are some helpful tips by Dr. Terry Baker on what to keep in mind when communicating with your husband/wife:
Baker’s Daily Dozen by Dr. Terry Baker Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
- Express fewer negatives
- Be less critical & cold when angry
- Be less defensive when listening
- Be an engaged listener
- Show interest
- Be affectionate
- Show you care
- Be appreciative
- Show your concern
- Be empathetic
- Be accepting
- Joke around
- Share your joy
Quotes to Ponder On…
“Criticism, faultfinding, evil speaking—these are of the spirit of our day. From many directions we are told that nowhere is there a man of integrity holding political office. Businessmen are crooks. Utilities are out to rob you. Everywhere is heard the snide remark, the sarcastic gibe, the cutting down of associates. Sadly, these are too often the essence of our conversation. In our homes, wives weep and children finally give up under the barrage of criticism leveled by husbands and fathers. Criticism is the forerunner of divorce, the cultivator of rebellion, sometimes a catalyst that leads to failure. In the Church it sows the seed of inactivity and finally apostasy.
I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we “accentuate the positive.” I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course.”
– President Gordon B. Hinckely “The Continuing Pursuit of Truth“
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change – the courage to change the things I can – and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Author Unknown
“As the days go by each of us slowly gives away little pieces of who we are… we give of ourselves to family, to friends, to people we don’t even know… but always inside… we keep a special little piece… until one day, in one given moment, we know to whom it belongs & in giving away this piece of ourselves, we are now complete.” — Author Unknown.
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