Weighed myself today and I have remained at 172lb. I made a goal last week to do Yoga everyday & I accomplished that goal! HURRAY! This is what I learned this week:

• I need to drink more water
• I need to snack less
• I need to add something to my workout… maybe lift some weights before Yoga & Jump rope for 10 min.

I feel if I do the above items I will see some AWESOME results next week. I have noticed that I am eating all GOOD food, I just eat more snacks than I need in between meals, i.e. :

Breakfast

Snack

Lunch

Snack

Snack

Dinner

Snack

I need to only have 2 Snacks a day - in-between Breakfast & Lunch & the 2nd one between Lunch & Dinner. I’ve been REALLY good about not eating after 9, so I’m happy about that.

Updated Weight Goal from FitDay.com:

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight

Your weight is 172 lb as of 06/30/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125  lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 47  lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 154 days (22 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 2.14 lb per week.

I have a plan. I am going to conduct an experiment this week and do Yoga For Weight-Loss everyday along with jump roping. I did commit to a goal last week of being more aggressive with my workouts, but I feel I could do better. So I am going to step it up with doing consistent Yoga Workouts and mix it up with jump roping for cardio.

I lost 1 lb! So that’s good. I hope to lose 2 lbs this next week!

Updated Weight-Loss Chart from FitDay.com

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight

Your weight is 172 lb as of 06/23/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125  lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 47  lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 161 days (23 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 2.04 lb per week.

I need to confess…

This week has been stressful in regards to doing what I should do and having episodes of hunger frustrations. During these episodes I feel frustrated because it feels like I can’t have whatever I want. I break my diet thinking “This is too hard, I want to be able to eat what I want when I want, however much I want! I feel SO RESTRICTED!!!” The reality of the situation is - I can have whatever I want, I just can’t have AS MUCH as I want if I REALLY want to lose weight. That’s my struggle to balance the two. I want to lose the weight REALLY bad, I just struggle with portioning.

It’s not like Clark and I don’t have healthy food in our house… trouble is - my portioning of ‘too much of a good thing’:

We always have fresh produce in the house, USDA Organic almost everything including: USDA Organic Whole Wheat Noodles - only no white noodles, USDA Organic Spaghetti Sauce, a variety of nuts & seeds in the house & Soy Milk. We have USDA Organic Cereal, Juice Plus Capsules, Juice Plus Complete, Healthy Choice Fudge Bars when we get a chocolate craving, etc etc - you get the idea. The only thing that’s unhealthy in the house is Clark’s Dorito’s & Frito’s and Red Vine Licorice.

My counselor back in UT told me that what creates bad habits - in my case bad eating habits - is keeping “secrets”. Secrets lead to destructive habits - thus my past eating disorder where had I not kept my dieting a secret, it more than likely would not have gotten out of hand. When I’m stressed I go into either extreme: Under-eating <—- or —–> Binge Eating (Over-eating). I don’t need to do that, I realize that. This is what I’m currently trying to get over. By being more aware of my habits - according to my counselor - will help me slowly let go of my destructive habits - leading me to lasting results.

So, I’m confessing my weaknesses to all of you. In doing so, will hopefully release what secrets I feel I’m hiding to where they won’t be secrets anymore because I’m confessing them:

• This past week I have been eating after 9 nearly everyday. I get the munchies at night, and when Clark pulls out his Dorito’s to eat while watching our shows, I get hungry when I wasn’t hungry before. These calories I don’t count on my FitDay.com track chart when I know I should.
• I like Cheese with my Apples, which I am at the time aware & know will add a lot of fat to my daily calories but I eat it anyways.
• I know that Cheese alone and Cheese on Pizza will give me a horrible stomach ache - but I eat it anyways because it tastes good.
• For some reason I think to myself that little nibbles of sweets don’t count in my daily calories - but I eat them anyways.
• If Clark leaves the house - particularly in the evenings - I binge eat. (That was hard to confess…  :(  )

What I realize and am aware of in confessing these items above:

• When Clark brings out his “couch snacks”, if I get hungry because he’s eating - I can easily go get out of the fridge the fresh cut veggies that I keep prepared. I don’t need to eat what he’s eating or something that will add more calories than I need.
• I need to remind myself and keep the rule that if I’m going to be willing to add calories to my day, I also need to be willing to write them down.
• When I eat little nibbles of this and that- the little things can easily add up quickly. When I just want ‘a taste’, I need to replace those tastes with a glass of water, or veggies and take a DEEP breath and focus on the situation and ask myself “Do I really need this?”
• When Clark leaves the house, I need to lay down on the floor and breathe for a few minutes. Realize what my impulse is to do, and go get a drink of water and try to distract myself. If I feel I need to eat, go and get a plate of veggies.
• I also realize I need to have more patience with myself. Try and not do more than my body can handle.

Hopefully this venting/confession will help me with this next week. I’ve gone 6 weeks and it’s hard not to get down on myself thinking that I could have lost 12 lbs but I’ve only been able to keep off 1lb. What I need to remember is that I can keep off bad habits if I don’t give up and keep being aware and learning. If I want to have lasting results I need to have diligence in my goal, have faith and believe in myself and have patience with myself. I need to continue to treat myself how I would treat another girl/boy going through the same struggle.

Thanks for listening

Here is my updated Weight Goal Chart from FitDay.com

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight
Your weight is 173 lb as of 06/16/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125 lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 48 lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 168 days (24 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 2 lb per week.

My additional goal this week is to be more aggressive in my work-outs. Since the total # of lbs needed to reach my goal is rising, I need to ‘up’ the work-out routine.

Well, today was weigh in day and I haven’t lost - but I haven’t gained.

What to say really- I don’t know other than I am proud of the fact that it was my ‘Birthday Week’ and there were quite a few sweets handed to me & I didn’t gain because of them.

I am going to work harder with my previous goals I made for myself with a corrected mindset and encourage and motivate myself more. I am going to lose 1 lb this week!

Updated Weight Status from FitDay.com:

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight
Your weight is 174 lb as of 06/09/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125 lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 49 lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 175 days (25 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 1.96 lb per week.

Today I weighed myself and I am disappointed in myself. I gained 2 lbs and am now at 174lb. Not trying to be hard on myself but I know what I did wrong this past week. My effort to ‘nourish’ my goal was lax. I realize that I knowingly created this result and it has always been in my control. I :

• was lax in inputting my daily food intake
• I didn’t exercise as much as I could have
• attempted to go all extreme in only eating vegetables after Memorial Day weekend in an effort to play “catch up” on my weight loss and ended up not accomplishing my extreme manuever and resulted in a lax week, semi-giving up.

I DO NOT want to give up and WILL NOT give up. I sought out answers in the Morning Scripture Study with my husband and just like God knew I needed to hear this, this is what I am applying to my weight-loss efforts this week:

Likening my goal to a seed, I need to have :

30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

I need to believe in my goal and I need to have FAITH in it. I also need to:

37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

38 But if ye ^aneglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.

39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ^aground is ^bbarren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the ^atree of life.

I need to nourish my goal and not neglect my goal. What am I to expect in my results if I’m not applying my knowledge and belief to my actions? I need to move forward in faith and:

41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with ^apatience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree ^bspringing up unto everlasting life.

42 And because of your ^adiligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the ^bfruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

43 Then, my brethren, ye shall ^areap the ^brewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth ^cfruit unto you.

[Scripture References from Alma 32]

The most important thing I could apply to my goal and faith in action is PATIENCE. I need to be diligent in all that I know (input my daily food intake, exercise thoroughly and believe in myself) I can do. Believing in myself and applying faith means, knowing that after I do all that I know I can do, that I will receive the fruit of my labor. I WILL have the body that I want.

Updated FitDay.com Weight Goal:

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight
Your weight is 174 lb as of 06/02/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125 lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 49 lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 182 days (26 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 1.88 lb per week.

NO…. not the ‘nuh nuh nuh’ or however you type the tune to the Rocky IV theme song… I’ve never seen the movies. Don’t care to either.

No, what I’m referring to is, so far this week it has been rocky in my weight loss goals. Semi-depressing, but I’m not giving up. Not to make excuses- but I will just to make myself feel better, but Holidays seem to get me in a munchie mood. *Sigh*…

My impulse is to go extreme to “catch up” on lost weight-loss time, but I’m taking things in moderation. Making myself more aware of the reality of how I’m feeling and is it reasonable.

So, here’s my letter to myself if I were to reply to my own post:

Dear Becky,

I know that you must be feeling right now like you just screwed things up. You’re probably thinking right now, “Man - look at how much you ate and now it’s all going to go to your waist and it’ll take you even longer to lose all that weight!” How sad to talk to yourself that way.

What can you do now? Well, you always have tomorrow, you always have the next hour and the next minute to change. Hug yourself, tell yourself in the mirror that:

“You are doing the best you can - for who you are and where you’re at in life.”

Continue to treat yourself how you’d treat someone else who’s going through the same struggles. Treat yourself as you’d treat your own child. Would you put down your own child how you put yourself down? I don’t think so.

Remember that you’re a daughter of God and that you have a high responsibility to take care of her (you).

So, pick yourself up and keep on going!

Love you!

You’re BEAUTIFUL!

Today was “Weigh-In Day” (Monday) and I haven’t lost - but I also haven’t gained. I am adjusting my goal for the next week and along with focusing on having more protein than fat - I am also going to focus on fiber along with the protein. So my week goal is as follows:

• More protein than fat within the day.
• Choose high-fiber foods
• Choose high-fiber/low-fat sweets (i.e. Healthy Choice Fudge Bars, My Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies, etc)
• Eat more veggies.
• Exercise - w/o fail, 5 days out of the week for 45 min.

• Jump Rope for 5 min as a warm up to alternating daily exercises of either the treadmill or yoga, also do ab workout after treadmill/yoga.
• Take 20 min out of each day to calm my body down - meditate. Quiet down and think of nothing but how I’m breathing. Try not to fall asleep

Here is my updated FitDay.com Weight Goal:

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight
Your weight is 172 lb as of 05/26/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125 lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 47 lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 189 days (27 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 1.74 lb per week.

I’ve removed THREE POUNDS this week!

I am SO PROUD of myself - and I feel SO GOOD!

Updated Goal Chart from FitDay.com:

Weight Goal Stats

Current Weight
Your weight is 172 lb as of 05/19/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125 lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 47 lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 196 days (28 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 1.68 lb per week.

Each day & each week my goal seems more of a reality. That excites me

So, how do I feel I did better in this week vs. the previous week?

The goals I made for me this past week were to have more protein than fat. I thought I had to worry about all three: Carbs, Proteins & Fats, but what I noticed is when I made more of an effort to monitor my protein intake and have more of that than fat - that the carbs took care of themselves. Also, I didn’t deprive myself of any sweets, but I wanted to make sure that the sweet didn’t put me over in Fats, so in that effort I naturally sought out the better - more healthier sweet My favorite sweets that have fulfilled my sweet tooth have been:

• Healthy Choice Fudge Bars (100 cal and HIGH in fiber so they really fill you up)
• Disney Kid’s Graham Cookies - 1 serving (11 Cookies) is only 120 cal and I don’t always have a full serving in a given day.

What has REALLY helped save me in a day with boosting up my protein intake and has been my weight loss saving grace has been Juice Plus Complete . I have such a strong testimony of this stuff, that I truly believe that without this I wouldn’t be making the progress that I am. THANK YOU JUICE PLUS!!!

So, this morning Clark and I weighed in to see a week’s result of our current weight goal. Well… at least we didn’t gain any more weight. We have remained the same.

So, for me - here is my current goal outline on FitDay.com :

Current Weight
Your weight is 175 lb as of 05/12/2008.

Weight Goal
Your goal is to weigh 125 lb by 12/01/2008

Goal Progress
You are currently 50 lb above the target weight.

The deadline for your goal is 203 days (29 weeks, 0 days) away.

To meet your goal you need to lose about 1.72 lb per week.

It’s really easy to become discouraged, but I truly am grateful that we haven’t gained anything. I have observed my eating pie-charts on FitDay.com and have noticed that more days than not I had more Fat than Protein in my food choices. So this week’s goal is to keep my fat percentage lower than my protein percentage more days than not.

So here we go, week 2! Wish me luck!

My journey of weight loss has been an incredible learning curve, even though it hasn’t even been a full week since I started. I seem more aware of the choices I make.

One thing I have noticed is my change in mood. I feel that I used food to fill voids. Now that I’m not complying with those “quick fixes” I’m left with those voids to fill with something else. I’m kinda at a loss in those moments. Simple tasks seem more overwhelming than they need to be and it’s taking longer to think things through. Weird, I know - but that’s how I’m feeling.

Could all this be related to how much food I consumed? Maybe. Maybe it’s also due to past incidences where I used to starve myself and now that my body is receiving less food than before - my brain is replaying how my body felt during those periods of time. Other things that I’m feeling is that it’s harder to concentrate, harder to recall memories and just a whole mix of feelings! I am aware that my body needs time to adjust to this change. I’m certainly not starving myself, I am receiving enough calories and other nutrients. My body is just used to eating more.

If I’m not posting as consistently as I used to, it’s because there is all of a sudden SO MUCH swarming around in my head and I’m just trying to sort everything out. Thank you friends & family for all your support.

I AM GOING TO DO THIS!

125 by Dec 1 here I come!!!