Rebecca's Blog

I talk big sometimes… I have confidence in most things… but I’m easily intimated I have found.

VENTING: Oh… There have been few ‘best’ – girl friends that I’ve made in my life. Solid friends that I am SO SO grateful for. Also, I’ve made several friends that are girls (such as most of you who read my blog).  But… I’m not quite sure why I feel more comfortable around males vs. women. I just don’t know what to say most of the time. I have no kids, so that cuts out A LOT of topics in a mass of collected women who get together around here… I feel so nerdy I am fearful of bringing up TV shows and computer related things when the rest of them are talking about what food they feed their kids and why. I’ve thought of jumping in and talking about what I feed “my babies” (cats)… but that would be weird… Clark told me I should mention my nieces and nephews in conversations where women are all talking about their kids a whole bunch. I’ve done that a few times and they all stop and stare at me … silence creeps me out! Are they expecting me to say more? I thought for a split second I was cool – but then I started rethinking things…

I could talk about blogging, but I’m all about WordPress and most everyone else has blogger… *sigh*… I just clam up and I don’t know what to say! I spend my whole day working on technical programming /design stuff! What do I do? Am I over-complicating this situation? I want to be friends with women (I know I need to! My toenails haven’t been painted in over 3 years!)- but… I think I’ve surrounded myself unintentionally with mostly men in my life as friends – I am so foreign to the having a lot of girls as close friends – except for the rare occasion. Even those friends have men as mostly friends, that’s probably why we get along so great. I get nervous and scared off and just let my guard down more around the guys because it’s easier! I always worry about what women think when I do get shy and hide away for awhile… will they think I hate them or don’t like them? Ugh… again, this is where guys are much easier – because I feel they don’t care nearly as much as women – who over-think… HELLO! Like what I’m doing right now! What do you suggest I do?

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Clark is my best-friend. He’s been one of the few who I feel gets me 110%. The good, the bad – he accepts ALL of me! No matter what! He may not understand some things at first, but his deep love I know & feel he has for me helps quicken the process of understanding – or at least finding a way to relate… like for instance, my quirky thing about when I get nervous – I go to the bathroom multiple times (for physical reasons too, but more often when I’m nervous)… weird right?! Well, from my LIFE experience – guys don’t care as much, but girls  I feel go on a rapid speed of thought of wondering why. I’m probably completely wrong here – but that’s how I feel. Where did I ever get this idea that girls judge and guys don’t care as much – or at least for that long? It’s cliche for a lot of things – but it’s a belief in my mind… and I get shy, I get nervous – I don’t know what to say – so I stay quiet and hide in the shadows and just watch. If there was a room full of a group of guys there and girls over there, I’d go and chat with the guys (with Clark of course) and feel more comfortable. It’s not that I don’t enjoy going out for girls night or hanging with the girls… I just feel … different. Where did this all start from? Hmmm… another challenge for me to resolve

Speaking of which!!!! GUESS WHAT?

My period this last month was RIGHT ON day 28, and was FIVE DAYS LONG!!!! Record breaking for the past 3 years! UNBELIEVABLE! Guess what day I started?… THE DAY I GOT MY JOB! And [also] GUESS WHAT?! It didn’t hurt like labor pains – all it was – was really uncomfortable, but bearable enough to where I could still function!!!! That is GOOD NEWS! Is it a coincidence or WHAT!? The hope and dream of having a baby is more real, and my stress level… I tell you what, after the reality of me having a job and stable income coming into our home – I felt my whole body deflate (literally) of pent up anxiety, stress, probably every illness I have ever thought I’ve had over the past 2 years has probably all been heavily influenced by STRESS! WOW, I never knew that stress could literally be … so… so… incognito? Sneaky way of slowly breaking your body down until you go literally insane?! … Lethal? All I know is that I feel it slipping out of my body. Literally, each day that I feel more and more SAFE in regards to being able to buy groceries, that we will be able to pay bills, that we will be able to LIVE… awwwww… we’re safe. We’re OK. Things will be alright. My body is starting to believe that and it’s settling down and I feel like my ‘ol self again!

Such is my job. I LOVE it! My boss is SO nice, the whole situation of the job itself is honestly, a DREAM JOB! I have no complaints – at all! I hope and PRAY PRAY PRAY that this is a long-term job. I hope with all my heart that it’ll last forever! Or – until we have kids . I want to be a full-time Mommy. Whenever that happens, but I’m not worried about that right now. Fully focusing on my job, getting our debt paid off and building a SAFE foundation for our kids to enter into – that is Clark’s and my game plan.

Speaking of Clark, his many many businesses (as his family and friends well know, lol) are doing pretty darn good! He’s had a lot of camera jobs this week, today he went out on a shoot at a recording studio. His web jobs are also doing pretty good. Things have been really taking off for us! But we’re not forgetting to stop everyday and really count our many blessings and thanking the Lord every morning and every night!

I’ve been so busy, which is why I haven’t blogged as regularly. I’m getting into the swing of things. Hopefully I”ll be able to slowly bring in everything I’d like to continue doing like I used to (dishes, laundry, reading books, blogging, etc ) . We’ll see, one step at a time!

Everything is going VERY well!

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Hard at work Full Time… gets us backed up on Laundry.

I guess our only hope are the Cats cleaning up…

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Very cool, but super scary to live through one. The closest I ever got to one, was when we went to Nauvoo last summer. Spooky! Just about right for FALL!

Enjoy the pictures

Astonishing twisters captured by storm-chasing photographer
His experiences have been brought together in the revised and expanded version of his award-winning photo book, ‘Storm Chaser: A Photographer’s Journey.’

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“I ask everyone within the sound of my voice to take heart, be filled with faith, and remember the Lord has said He ‘would fight [our] battles, [our] children’s battles, and [the battles of our] children’s children’ (D&C 98:37; emphasis added). And what do we do to merit such a defense? We are to ‘search diligently, pray always, and be believing. [Then] all things shall work together for [our] good, if [we] walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted’ (D&C 90:24). The latter days are not a time to fear and tremble. They are a time to be believing and remember our covenants.”

Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Angels,” Ensign, Nov. 2008, 30

“Life’s journey is not traveled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares. Rather, it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say, ‘No,’ the courage to say, ‘Yes.’ Decisions do determine destiny.

“The call for courage comes constantly to each of us. It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be.”

Thomas S. Monson, “The Call for Courage,” Ensign, May 2004, 54-55

“In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike–and they will–you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection (see 2 Kgs. 6:16-17). They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham’s seed.”

Jeffrey R. Holland, “For Times of Trouble,” BYU Speeches, 1980, 45

“One of this nation’s leading pollsters, Richard Wirthlin, has identified through polls an expression of the basic needs of people in the United States. These needs are self-esteem, peace of mind, and personal contentment. I believe these are needs of God’s children everywhere. How can these needs be satisfied? I suggest that behind each of these is the requirement to establish one’s own personal identity as the offspring of God. All three needs, regardless of ethnic background, culture, or country, can be met if we look to the divinity that is within us.”

James E. Faust, “Heirs to the Kingdom of God,” Ensign, May 1995, 61–62

“Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).”

Robert D. Hales, “Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually,” Ensign, May 2009, 7

“As we daily confront a world full of negativity, doubt, fear, and even dread can creep into our hearts. President Thomas S. Monson has counseled us that ‘faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other’ (“Come unto Him in Prayer and Faith,” Liahona and Ensign, Mar. 2009, 6). In Moroni we read that ‘without faith there cannot be any hope’ (Moroni 7:42). We must exercise faith to take on life’s challenges and changes. It is how we learn and progress.”

Steven E. Snow, “Get On with Our Lives,” Ensign, May 2009, 81–82

“As the Lord predicted in the preface to the Doctrine and Covenants, we now see the time when ‘the devil shall have power over his own dominion’ (D&C 1:35). Is it any wonder that some are dismayed and disturbed by what they see? Yet, my dear young friends, we do not find President Hinckley or the other apostles and prophets wallowing in despair, nor do we sense even the smallest touch of hopelessness. The opposite is true. As President Hinckley also said last conference: ‘Now, I do not wish to be an alarmist. I do not wish to be a prophet of doom. I am optimistic. I do not believe the time is here when an all-consuming calamity will overtake us. . . . There is so much of the Lord’s work yet to be done. We, and our children after us, must do it’ (in Conference Report, Oct. 2001, 89; or Ensign, Nov. 2001, 74).

“This hope and optimism comes because we know, with absolute certainty, that God is in His heaven and He is the Lord Omnipotent. God’s wisdom and knowledge and power are greater than all the combined forces of evil. He is able to work His will, and His purposes cannot be frustrated (see D&C 3:1). He has not left you and me to make our way alone in these perilous times. He is watching over His people.”

M. Russell Ballard, “Be Strong in the Lord, and in the Power of His Might” (CES fireside for young adults, March 3, 2002), 1–2

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