Rebecca's Blog

Back in 2009 I purchased a Dell XPS M1330, with it came a ‘basic’ version of McAfee Antivirus. There wasn’t anything indicating it wouldn’t do its job in catching viruses. I didn’t see any reason to install anything else.

I didn’t really like the interface, it was hard to know if everything was set properly. But I could find where to scan, where to update easy enough.

Overtime I found something odd about my computer. Slowing down when it should be swift. I just considered it Vista’s issue, since Vista has been known to not perform that smooth. I did all methods of de-junking the computer (defrag, delete files, scan for viruses), and where that all made a difference as it usually does, there was still something strange going on. Trusting McAfee virus scan report I just carried on. Figuring it was just my computer getting older and filling up with files.

It wasn’t until 1 year later that my ‘Free McAfee’ expired and I installed Kaspersky Anti-virus 2010 that I found 7 viruses and 2 Riskware on my computer! McAfee, never told me about this! Never told me about anything. Even free versions should at least tell you that something is wrong! And yes, it was turned on and everything appeared to be working properly.

I’ve been using a computer since I was 2. I don’t consider myself an expert, because I’m always learning, but I am computer savvy. I’ve used Norton before, AVG and Kaspersky. This is the first Anti-virus that even the ‘free’ version didn’t do anything worth value.

My 2 cents if you have just purchased a Dell or are considering an Anti-virus, look past McAfee and consider Kaspersky. I mean, just the interface alone looks comforting :

Download Free Trial of Kaspersky Anti-virus

If you found this review helpful feel free to donate to my new laptop fund!

McAfee Review

Kaspersky Review

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“Not meant to be this time.” That’s what I told Clark, broken to pieces, I haven’t felt this heartache before… As predicted, I knew I’d be sad. It’s my Achilles heel: working myself up – letting my imagination of baby clothes, baby giggles, growing this perfect little baby inside me who I am so biased that he/she is the most beautiful of them all. The smartest and most kind hearted child, who is a spiritual giant among the rest.

“Maybe this is just meant to teach you to be OK with it just being the two of us?” Clark said, trying to help me see the positive. Through learning about manifesting whatever you want in life –  we’ve been taught to not want something too much or you actually attract the opposite result. But to be OK with either end result and you’re more likely to attract whatever you desire in life.

I’ve been OK for awhile with the possibility of adopting if we can never conceive, or just waiting until we get to the millennium where we have children then. I can do it if I decide to… but I just let my emotions get away with me sometimes. I’ll confess, I cried hard when I took the pregnancy test that Clark told me I probably should wait a little longer… a little longer than 3 days past my expected period due date. I threw the negative result into the trash and slept my sadness away. Then, later today it was confirmed that no baby this time.

I hate that my period plays with my head, that I get SO tired, I lose my appetite or I get so nauseous – I am either on time for my period or I”m late. I hate those stupid “Early Pregnancy Symptoms” lists online that I can check almost all of them off. Dumb dumb DUMB!!!

I hate that I go through – what seems like labor every stink’n month, for what? NO baby.

Maybe I should count myself lucky that I have this much more time to lose weight so I can be that much healthier when I do get pregnant.

It’s just… sometimes I hate having to learn patience. My heart physically hurts when I let myself get so excited over the slightest possibility that __x__ might happen and then I feel my little mini dream gets stolen away and I”m told “Not this time, maybe next time”.

I don’t want to be told what might help, or I should try this or that. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I’ll keep trying, but I’ve learned that I can’t let myself get too excited… because it hurts too much when it doesn’t happen.

Thanks for listening.

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They’re just words… wrong. There’s a reason why we’re told time and time again to watch what we say, don’t judge, speak with Charity. Even those who you are close to – you don’t know everything about and one single phrase can cut right through them, and you may not even know/realize it.

What inspired this post was a post by Nie Nie she recently wrote, “Do you still see me?” It broke my heart because I know this feeling all too well. The words spoken to her weren’t from a loved one, but from a total stranger. What I’m referring to in how I can relate, happens to be unintentional cutting words from someone related to me. I’m sure the stranger wasn’t out to hurt Nie Nie, as I’m sure the relative wasn’t out to hurt my feelings.What happened to me, wasn’t a comment directed towards me, but towards a total stranger. My relative had an observation, it was criticism towards the stranger – and I thought in my mind, “You have no idea that I’m struggling with the same thing, and here you are judging them. “

I have a friend who feels she can’t speak to her own Mom because all the time her Mom judges other people for their faults. Just not understanding why ‘they’ would do ‘that’. Seeing the ‘dirt’ before the beauty of the flower so to speak. Instead of seeing how much they’ve grown to be someone better, she can’t believe where they came from. My friend would love to seek help and guidance from her Mom, but she’s SO afraid of her Mom judging her and not understanding because of everything she hears from her Mom all the time about other people. How sad…

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.

“For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged.” (Matt. 7:1–2.)

We all have our flaws, trials we are all working on. Weaknesses. Whether it be a physical weakness, or a mental weakness. We all have a challenge that most likely will effect us our entire lives. We all have consistent work to do. That is why it is so vital that we continue to be missionaries unto others, and doing so – it means watching our words carefully. So we can be approachable. So important to work on that, because we could have someone who we love SO MUCH, a friend or a family member – who needs help – but is so afraid to ask for it – for fear of judgment. What example are we portraying to them all? Someone who finds flaws, or someone who loves unconditionally ? Their weakness could be your strength, you could be the key to their happiness … are you portraying love or judgment?

The best advice I can think of, is to stop yourself as you go to tell an “interesting” story, or an “interesting” observation about someone else, and think in your mind, “Is what I am about to say, something that Jesus would say in the same way?” Whether you be around friends, family or a complete stranger (who could, later down the road – become a friend) – all eyes are on us ALL the time, young & old.

I’m guilty of gossip, and I know this is something I can refine in my speech as well. Let’s all press forward with an effort to speak with more love and compassion, and most importantly with effort and zeal to be a friend /or a family member who radiates an unconditional love – just as Jesus would.

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Scene set: Trader Joe’s

People involved: Me & Old Guy w/ Petition

Convo went like this:

Me: [walking with shopping cart back to my car...]

Old Guy: Hi want to.… awkward pause, with head tilted like he wasn’t so sure about something... sign a petition to legalize Marijuana & Stop Car Insurance Surcharge Fee’s?

Me: Uhhh… not so much the Marijuana one, but what is the Car Insurance one about?

Old Guy: You’re of legal age, right?

Me: [a little set back, what the?] … Uh, yeah.

Old Guy: The Petition about Car Insurance is to stop Surcharges when you switch from one Insurance agency to another – currently they charge you a huge surcharge for switching. This Petition is to help stop that from happening. You are old enough to vote – right?

Me: Yes!

Old Guy: Ok, here you go. Sign legible here… You are 18?

Me: I’m 25

Old Guy: No you’re not.

Me: Yes, I am.

Old Guy: Right, 25 going on BARELY 18. You’re not fooling anyone hun.

Me: *sigh*… do I have to put my address here?

Old Guy: Yes, you registered to vote?

Me: Yeah, but not here in California. Oh well, looks like I can’t sign. Sorry, see ya!

Old Guy: Ok, bye.

This marks the 10th time someone has either told me I don’t even look a day older than 18, or that Clark looks like my Dad.

Can’t wait for the day I actually look my age, or closer to Clark’s age.

Haha!

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